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Meimei, The Chinese Golddigger

梅梅 - 中国的淘金女郎

From Crystal: This is the true story shared by one of my readers. However, for obvious reasons the names have been changed.


Meimei was Chinese. I met her when I lived and worked in China. We’d been together for four wonderful years during which I gave her plenty. Then I paid for her to go to USA as an au pair (the first Chinese au pair from her province in fact) with the promise we would marry on her return.

Originally, Meimei went to Denver, Colorado. She had several bad experiences with families there, and Denver being Denver, where there was still snow in May, she got quite fed up with being out of town and unable to get out. So she put her details on the Chinese dating site. Meimei told me she was looking for pen friends. Anyway, that is where she met Jackson.

He’s not young, has no assets, no education, nothing but a big bag of lies, which she swallowed of course. So she got this guy who is 50 (younger than me!) but no money, nor anything. In fact, before they had to downsize their house, he asked his mother for money (which she didn’t give to him).

Anyway, twenty six days after meeting him online she got married…

Can’t say how hurt I was by the speed with which she dropped me, and who for! It was between my booking air tickets to US for summer holiday, and actually getting there. I booked them mid-June (last year), she met this scumbag on July 12, and I did actually fly to US on August 3rd, the day before she married. Ironically, we were set to holiday in Orlando where Jackson lived.

Here is the letter I wrote to her about a year ago.


20th September 2009

Dear Meimei,

You know I never gave you anything but kindness, generosity and deep deep love. You do know that don’t you? So I am very hurt with the way things are now. You seem to have forgotten every promise you made me. The last one was that we’d stay friends, stay in contact, and you’d send me news and photos.

So I don’t know why you have now completely severed all forms of communication with me. Actually that’s not true, I do know really. If you don’t want to communicate with me on a personal level, that’s OK, I suppose. But there is more than that. We need to discuss and negotiate about the house.

History: back in the late summer of 2006 (September I think) when you were in [name of city], living in an apartment in [name of district] with Alex, and I was back in UK, you telephoned me, in tears. You were very upset because you thought your family home was in imminent danger of being demolished, and you knew your parents had no money to buy another. Even though you were his live-in lover, Alex refused to help you. So you turned to me, dependable, kind Ted.

Although I was not beholden to your family, only you, I offered my help. In fact the opposite: I had no sympathy with a father who marked his young daughter for life. Initially the plan was to buy just a one-bedroom apartment for you, and my initial thought was about 15万RMB. But your brother worked on you, and you worked on me. And you had to buy in a hurry of course, the apartment you now have. Around the end of 2006, I transferred to you a large sum of money, £18000 which then was about 270000 RMB. I have all the banking documents from then.

As you know, all the money came from my savings, which were for my old-age comfort. But I let you have the money, with the understanding that you would return it when you married, and/or let me live there quite a lot. Later in 2007, around Chinese New Year, when we were in Hainan, you needed more money, for documentation etc., so I made another transfer to you, of £2000, about 30000 RMB.

Apart from money transfers from my savings in UK, I also sent you quite lot of money from my income in China. At least 10000 at the beginning of 2007, followed by several more transfers of 5000 RMB or more. Again, I have banking documents.

I found money for the fixtures, fittings and furnishings you wanted, including a floor for 10000 RMB which will outlast the rest of the building. And even while you were in the process of abandoning me, I transferred to your brother 2 sums of 11000 each, to buy out his equity in the house. I think you had agreed 50000 with him, so he still retains 28000 RMB interest. Altogether I supplied at least 37 万RMB.

Well, now you are married, so I want my money back. I need it to build myself a new life without you. I am not a bank. You acknowledged in skype messages and emails that you are in my debt, and would pay me back. Your husband talks about honour, although I can see he has none, because he reneged on the promise.

I was hoping your brother would have more honour than either of you. He offered me a sum of money, which I thought meant we could negotiate, he and I. But on consideration, I realise that he is working in collusion with you. I imagine this is your husband’s idea, to obtain the house at 50 cents to the dollar. I would very much like this business settled amicably. But you give me no alternative but to go to law.

I am told that I have a strong chance of winning. Which means you all would lose everything. I could arrange to put your belongings into storage, because obviously they couldn’t stay in the house after I sell it. Your whole family would lose out: your brother would have to move back to the old family home.

I also don’t know why your husband chooses to be offensive and abusive to me. I have not acted in any way to justify his words. They just make a complicated situation worse. In particular, no way do I want him to enjoy a single penny of my property, nor set foot on it.

Final offer – choose one:

1. You pay me back immediately 370000 RMB or US$54000.

2. You agree to make me the sole owner of the property.

3. You sign a legally binding contract to pay me back at a nominal interest rate of 1.95% per annum, with an up-front lump sum payment. The house is the security. 120 monthly payments, in US$ to my bank outside China. See attached spreadsheet schedule. NB: RMB amounts are for illustration, what I want is US$. I cannot extend it beyond 120 months, because I don’t think the house will last any longer. In any case, remember I just celebrated my 62nd birthday?

4. I take you to court and win.


You want to know what happened since then? Nothing.

Her husband and her brother kept everything. I did try to take legal action in China, but that requires giving the judge a “present” even just to have the case heard. Not going to throw good money after bad.  Also, I considered taking action in Florida, where they both now live (they had to move house because they couldn’t afford the rent). But no real point, because they had nothing there to give if I won. She didn´t get all my money though – I have just bought my own house in US, as an investment.

Apart from the obvious sex, I really miss her presence – I could talk to her like to nobody else.  She has recently got her green card, and they had to sell something to make a trip back to China at the beginning of this month. I am actually a little surprised she didn’t dump him then, now she’s got her green card, but maybe that will come soon!

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54 comments to Meimei, The Chinese Golddigger
  • What a loser! (The man who wrote the story!). He should have married her if he loved her. And he is older than 50? How young was his sexual plaything that found a man who loved her and was not just using her for sex because he had money?

  • Sorry but the author of the letter is a naive fool. It’s no surprise the letter to “meimei” was ignored. If it was me I’d do the same. It’s obvious that legal action isn’t going to work. This is China for God’s sake!!

  • David

    I know that my point of view is not popular these days, but I believe that it is wrong for a man and a woman to be living together or sleeping together before they get married. This is one of the reasons why. If a man or a woman cannot commit to each other enough to get married, how can they trust each other to stay by them “for better or for worse”? Now I know that some people will cheat you and leave you even after marriage, but not making the marriage commitment (for four years!) should be a tip-off.

    • keius

      I disagree. This guy was extremely lucky he did not marry her. Imagine how much she would have taken him for if that had happened. Marriage is no guarantee of anything nowadays. In his situation, it doesn’t mean comittment, it just means an easier way for her to legitimately take more of his money. He’s lucky she fell for the other guys lies. In most marriages i’ve seen, getting married just means that the couple tends to take their SO for granted much more often. Legally, marriage is a contract. That’s all.

      Anyway, this guys over 50. The woman is relatively young it seems, and she put her profile up on a Chinese dating site when she was in the states…. dead giveaway. If he bought her lies, then he was just deceiving himself. If it quacks like a duck…..
      Anyway, it should have been obvious that she was using him from the start. The question is whether or not she intended to stay in a real relationship with him. Just because she was using him doesn’t always mean she’s going to use him AND dump him.

      My wife met this 30ish year old Chinese woman couple years ago in an ESOL class. They became friends. Now, this woman apparently married her white husband who is over 60. She does not love him BUT she is a good wife to him and has stayed by his side for better or worse. She’s got her permanent green card (not temp), a car, has a job, etc, and she’s still with him and hasn’t stolen his money. If anything, she’s frugal BUT she admits she used him to better her own situation. I chat with the guy every time my wife has them over. I think he knows where their relationship stands but they still plan to grow old together.
      There’s nothing holy or sacred about marriage. It’s a contract.

  • David

    Incidentally, in response to the author of this blog, a marriage-based green card that is obtained in the US is temporary if the marriage is less than two years old when the green card is obtained. It is a temporary two-year green card; if, after the temporary green card expires, the couple is still married, she can obtain a permanent, renewable ten-year green card that is not dependent on marriage. So probably she will remain married to the other guy for at least two years after she initially got the green card.

    • Pete

      David, that is true, but it is also pretty easy to get around. If the girl claims that her husband abused her (and can back it up with some evidence – like a friend saying he/she “witnessed” it), the US will issue a permanent green card almost automatically. I personally know of a Chinese woman that did that – in her case it happened to be true, unfortunately – and she got her divorce and her green card well before the two-year temporary card expired.

    • Carl

      Even if she got the ten year green card she would still need to return to the US every year to maintain her residency status unless she applies for and gets advance parole to stay longer. Otherwise it will be considered as an abandonment of her US residency. Lengthy stays in China will also deny her the chance of US citizenship because it requires her to live in the US continually to qualify.

  • Bored in Sydney

    What a silly fool. There is no limit to the number of deluded people wandering around the planet. I guess that a 62 year old man who is still lusting after a young girl is evidently not smart enough to recognise that there is something wrong with the whole picture? He is a dirty old man and the trade off that Meimei gave for sex with a dirty old man is payment. He should have accepted his reality and just paid a prostitute for use of her body as that is the end result anyway, it was just that he probably paid way too much. No sympathy for him, if at 62 he is still that naive and thinks that she really loved him, he needs an expensive lesson.

    Of course that does not mean that I support the disgracefully actions of the girl, her brother, and the new guy. But I suspect the new guy is also stupid and perhaps better in bed than the old man, maybe she really does prefer his company? The new guy would also have been told a whole different version of the truth and as a man he thinks that it is his job to defend her as well as try to collect assets. In fact the new guy might even think he is taking advantage of the girl for the house? It is possible. Rather that call him a loser that older man needs to accept that in fact he is the loser.

    In a lawless land you need to adapt, so if I found myself in a situation like this I would take the law into my own hands. Money gets whatever you need and want in China, if you need to buy a judge, do it, if you need to buy some hired muscle do that as well. Being a victim of the lawless society is a choice, he just needs to open his eyes and accept the reality of the situation and learn what is going to be effective, sending her a letter is a waste of time.

    • MerryBathCelestial

      Direct. Informative. Real. I’m not Chinese, but most of my friends are ( …in Honolulu, Hawaii, USA). Strangely enough, at an all Chinese hangout, the girls married and single would caution me about certain Chinese females marching into the K-Club. And, hey! They are really cute, or smoking hot, or got that rural, small town, but educated type of vibe, but they will bite your funds. True.It’s crucial, in dating circles, regardless of ethnicity, to do research with one’s larger head.

  • Teacher in China

    I would buy the judge man, it’s worth it. It seems like you’re assured the win. Petty revenge is often not worth the trouble, but you got totally screwed out of a lot of money by this girl and her family – don’t you want to get it back? Don’t you want them to feel some pain in return for making you into a fool (sorry if that’s harsh) and stealing the money that you’re going to need in your old age? Anyway, hope you learned a lesson – at your age, I wouldn’t go below the age of 50 if you’re looking for love here in China. Anyone younger is just looking for a free ride.

    • Kevin

      Could he really win though, even if he did? As far as I know, the Chinese legal system is all about contracts – if it’s not written down, it doesn’t count. And if he had a signed contract, you’d think he would have said so.

      Bribery can tip a subjective decision one way or the other, but even in China it can’t swing a case like this, especially in favour of a foreigner.

      (I’m not a lawyer and have no experience of the Chinese legal system, so this post is worth exactly what you paid for it)

  • Pete

    I feel some sympathy for the author, but he was really foolish. If you are dating someone, and they ask you for substantial amounts of money, run away!!! I’ve met Chinese women like “meimei” – only in it for the money. It usually doesn’t take long to figure them out, and say “zai jian!” On the other hand, I also have met Chinese women that got ripped off by western guys and were left heart broken. So, it can go both ways. And on the third hand, ;-) I have quite a few Chinese friends that definitely are *not* “gold-diggers,” but are really just really nice people. For any guys interested in a relationship with a Chinese woman, all I can say is that there are roughly 600 million of them – it isn’t *that* hard to find one that doesn’t want to take all your money and/or just use you for a green card. Use some common sense!

  • keius

    At his age, and being single, and in China, he should have gotten a nice Chinese mistress. They have the motivation to treat him good and keep treating him good. If affection develops, then it just gets better.

  • Dej

    Wow, what a story. I thought I was the kind of person to be too trusting but even I don’t know that I would do all of that in the same situation.
    Anyway the woman may not be a gold digger. For many people around the world marriage is not simply about falling in love. Some older guy meets some younger chinese woman who is happy to take is kindness and is sometimes pressed by her family to ask for a lot of money. Now many people assume that everyone from the West has money anyway. She is prepare in return to be a committed partner to this older guy.
    Anyway girl goes to foreign land and then actually really falls in love with a guy there. So she could continue to wait for older guy who is still back in China only because she realises that he has given her lots of money or follow feelings and go with new guy knowing that she will probably never be able to pay back older fella.

    This ain’t nothing to do with Chinese gold digger, any even gold digger of any nationality. This is to do with a guy who was happy to give a girl to much money and expected that in return she would stay with him even with oceans between them.

  • PL

    I have to say that I agree with Pete, I feel sorry for “Ted”, but surely the warning signs were there. When someone asks you for that amount of money, surely red lights should be flashing and sirens going off big time ? If it were me in the same position, I would just tell her that, whilst sorry for her parents’ position, and I would try to help in a small way, I just did not have the money to pay for all of it.

    The sums he is talking about just beggar belief.

    Also, I note from the letter that she was the “live-in lover” of someone called ‘Alex’ along with seeing “Ted” and marrying “Jackson”. Even more red flashing lights and sirens, I would have thought. I just do not understand how or why “Ted” did not understand what was happening.

    I don’t quite understand about him being “back in UK”, but being able to get her a green card in the USA and that he bought a house in the US. Is he dual nationality? He must have had an awful lot of money to be able to cough up all those expenses AND still buy a house afterwards.

    I would be very interested to hear the comments of “Ted” on how and why he managed to ignore all the signals screaming “BEWARE ! BEWARE ! BEWARE !”, because I just cannot understand how anyone can get themselves into such a situation. I would be most grateful for clarification on who “Alex” was, and why that did not give him pause for thought, and why he gave money to her brother as well as the money to “save” her parents (I do wonder if their home really was going to be demolished). All in all I am extremely puzzled by the fact that he never got to a point where he said, “Sorry, but I can no longer help you”.

    Sorry, “Ted”, you DO have my sympathy, but how could you have been so naive ?

  • PL

    Dej

    I have to say that I disagree with you. She wasn’t just a gold-digger, from the account of her actions it almost seems like a confidence trick. I would say her behaviour was borderline criminal.

  • Bored in Sydney

    Ted’s biggest real problem is that he has not accepted that the ’4 wonderful years together’ was just a scam. He was being taken the whole time. He even said it himself, he was giving her plenty…

    He wants to believe that he is still ‘the man’ and attractive to a young and beautiful exotic woman. It is a fantasy of course, and if he wants to be a man he needs to learn the rules of the game, bribe the judge and take her and her family to the cleaners. The world does not respect and weak man and he is having the dirt kicked in his face. In China you get what you take, not what you earn, or what you might think you deserve. After years living and working in China he should at least have learned that it is not a place for idealists.

  • PL I guess I’m just saying that she may not have always had the intention to leave him but absence does make the heart grow lustful.
    A better woman might have said to herself ” I know I don’t love him, let me give him back stuff he has bought me” however there are women all over the world who wouldn’t.
    What ever the woman’s intention was Ted made his bed. That being said it not great situation to be in and it would be nice if people were more considerate to each other, especially those with big hearts.

  • Django

    Ted has been a sucker for a long time & it looks as if that isn’t going to change anytime soon. He still believes that the 4 years were wonderful and that this suddenly happened. He should take a hard look and he’d probably realize that there were a bunch of lies since the beginning. In the letter it says she was living with Alex yet he refused to help her. So Ted being the “honorable” man on the side gave her money to help her out. Yet he fails to overlook that she is already cheating on him & Alex, how are her actions later any surprise? I wonder if he’ll ever realize there was no family emergency.

    Ted can also go on and on about being “honorable” and not wanting to buy a judge but really this is just trying to save face. There is no way he’d win when its his word against hers. I’m sure she could find someone to back up her story whereas all Ted has is his story that she promised to pay him back. This story could have happened anywhere and Ted deserves no sympathy. He has deluded himself and still hasn’t realized what really happened. He still is comparing himself to the “scumbag” Jackson and trying desperately to prove to himself that she should be with him.

    Ted got used for years and still wants to play the victim despite being a willing participant. It happened, move on.

    • keius

      Yeah, gotta agree. His chances of recovering money in court was basically zero. The judge will just look at this as a case of him giving away the money and act as if the woman was his official mistress.

      Official contracts are fairly common for ‘mistress’ arrangements. Housing, transportation, periodic payments, and other payment controls and stipulations are actually in those contracts, including termination arrangements for the relationship. For those without contracts, it’s usually assumed whatever he gives her is hers, unless property such as cars or homes are legally in his name.

  • James

    Sigh…I remember those exchange rates and I doubt i am ever going to see them again.

  • ziccawei

    Hahahahaha!!!!!!!

    What a complete idiot!!

    I have zero sympathy.

  • Wow!
    Have to admit that I am surprised with replies.
    I expected for some sort of men’s solidarity.

    • keius

      He’d probably get alot of symphathy if she had actually tricked him. The way his story played out, it’s more like he deceived himself. The guys in this forum simply can’t wrap their heads around how the situation could’ve escalated to such an absurd point.

      Like most guys here, it’s impossible for me to stand in Ted’s shoes. I can’t even imagine how i could make the decisions that he did. It’s easy to feel empathy when we feel like it could happen to us but as most of the guys here point out, his actions seemed really foolish.

      When i was with my fiance in China(my wife now), we lived together and we talked about our future BUT had she asked me to purchase a home in China for us, in HER name, there’s no chance in hell that would have happened, AND alarm bells would have started going off. That would mean she’s already considering a future without me in the picture before we even got shackled.

      Anyway, expensive lesson for ‘Ted’. Hope he doesn’t feel too bitter about it and to just get on with living his life. At least the amount she swindled hasn’t totally destroyed his financial viability.

    • Kevin

      I agree with Keius, but I think there’s more to it too. People like Ted and the dirty old qipao man a few posts ago are responsible for the negative stereotypes that are affecting all the foreign men living in China. These guys are the reason why people think “foreigners are all perverts” or “foreign men are easy to cheat out of cash”.

    • Jay K.

      crystal in the world of man love, we show no sympathy just honest truth; thus no backbiting occurs. this guy was an idiot.

  • Guy

    I have to agreed with the consensus. He should have saw it coming. This can happen anyone anyway in the world but being China is still a 3rd world country. You just have to be extra careful.

    My advice to expat is to just keep a low key about your finances.

  • Carl

    I agree, this man was an idiot to even fall for this. He was used and he was so blind to it that he continued even when he admitted he did not care for her family to give them money he should have known would never be repaid. Now that he has cut his ties he makes threats about whet he will do only to fold up like a cheap card table and in the end get nothing but a lot of sorrow and an expensive lesson in life.

  • jack

    I would hunt her down and cut her head off [...]

    Note from Crystal: the rest of comment – being racial and dirty – has been censored by me. I left its part only because Ziccawei already replied to it.
    Of course, commenter’s IP address was banned for further commenting on this site.

  • ziccawei

    ^ I’m not sure about that, but what I would do is set up a website – in Chinese – outlining everything she did along with emails translated into Chinese and pics of her. Then get an seo agent to flood the internet with it.

    Most Chinese will look at it and think ‘stupid laowai’ but the woman in question will not be happy about her face plastered all over the net.

    • Bored in Melbourne

      OK I would adopt that in addition to paying off the authorities to ensure that the property is transferred into my name and then sell it ASAP before the big China crash of empty properties kills the market.

      USD$54k is not that much money anyway.

      In my re reading of his material I see so many pointers that he is still deluded though, which I almost find sad. Poor lonely sad old man, I hope I do not end up like that. His mention that she was the first from her province to make it to the US via that means is a clear message to the readers that he still admires her and wants her back, that and the vitriol about the younger guy who took his prize must have been the source of a lot of hurt for him. But as a 62 year old who has lived there, sure it good he is not stone hearted yet, but not learning the lessons of life…

  • GF

    Hahaha!! What a looooooser! He was totally duped and used. And he’s still hoping she’ll come back! Sounds like he’s already devoting a lot of time thinking about this and trying to chase it for revenge. It’s just consuming a lot of his time that could be better used. Get over it and move on, $54K isn’t that much money anyway. Have some pride in yourself, geez. This is embarrassing.

  • Jay K.

    crystal can we get some other interesting topics like man woman man triangle love going on stories or some things were it involves more flesh and bare backing. this story is jsut depressing on a day known as monday, and the guy still is an idiot for this.

  • Teacher in China

    I love how many of you are saying 54K isn’t that much money. Are you serious? Come on. For some people that is at least a full year’s work, and for most it’s a lot more than that (given how much you lose in taxes).
    If you don’t feel it’s that much money, feel free to donate 54K to the “Teacher in China Needs Your Money” fund. It’s a worthy cause.

  • mike

    Should never spent over 5 grand on a girl for her whatever problem. I know this girl from a friend went to the USA for exchange and met a guy just for three month then got married, even though she had a three year relationship with a guy back home. Now she’s boasting she has everything, what a sad superficial life.

    • keius

      Possibly, BUT if you were in their social/economic situation and faced with a dead end life in China, would you do the same? The options of women in China can be so very limited.
      I know ALOT of Chinese women, young to past middle age who dumped boyfriends/fiances they claimed to ‘love’ to make a new life in the States.
      Anyway, those relationships in China are what’s really superficial sometimes. My wife’s girlfriend who will be coming to the states in another year (her parents bringing her in) has had a college sweetheart for couple years. He knows she’s dumping his ass as soon as she leaves.
      A lot of times, it’s family pressure. So very common for Chinese families to ‘sacrifice’ their daughters to better the lives of their sons.

      I’m not really taking the sides of the women but i can see where they’re coming from and their reasons for it. The only thing they may have of value is a pretty face. Funny though, just a couple days ago, a former schoolmate of my wife’s was asking her if she could set her up with any nice guys :shock: Same situation almost…student visa in NY. Wants to get hitched before her time is up. Girl’s an uber Christian zealot though, keeps on trying to convert my wife LOL.

  • ziccawei

    It’s desperation. Desperation from the Chinese girl and her accomplices trying to just get a helping hand on to any kind of ladder out of that shitty life. And desperation from the guy, lonely and feeling insecure, wanting anyone to love him. I don’t feel sorry for any of these guys that do this kind of stuff or fall for it – they are pathetic old men usually (or pathetic middle aged men). The girl and family/friends stealing or begging money are just cockroaches.

    I knew this girl a couple of years ago. Shanghainese, well into her 30′s. She met this guy online and he was from New Zealand. He was unmarried, living at home, well into his 40′s. The girl in question had a killer body (as many Chinese women have up to the age of 40 and over) was reasonably attractive but totally mad. The guy was a virgin. They met and very quickly got married.

    One time, she came back to Shanghai to visit or tie up loose ends and I met her for lunch/coffee – she told me about her husband. How she ‘loved’ him. She showed me pictures of the guy. In his day job as a scientist and then in his secret part-time job as a spy. I’m serious. This guy told her he was a spy for the NZ government and she believed it. She showed me pics of the guy, skinny and balding, nerdy glasses, wearing a Rambo like outfit, vest, gun belts over each shoulder, a gun in each hand and a ‘mean look’ on his face. I was like wtf… But she looked so proud and happy.

    She told him her parents were dead, all family dead – but they were all alive and living in Luwan district, Shanghai.

    Lies, lies, lies…

    That’s how these relationships are built. Just crazy.

  • Nick

    Please don’t be too harsh on him. It’s amazing what some folks will do for love. I never handed out money anywhere near the sums that Ted did, but I do remember setting up a joint checking account with a girl from Taiwan so she could get an apartment back in my younger days. She needed a local account.

    I think the amounts that Ted sent were excessive, but please allow the man some dignity. He chose to share this with us, after all, in hopes that we could learn from his mistakes. It is hardly polite to berate the man when he is trying to spare some reader the pain he experienced by baring his own soul and sharing his mistakes.

    Please, folks, be a little more civil.

    No, I am not Ted. Crystal can back that up.

  • Bored in Sydney

    I completely agree in the theme of what some lonely people will do in the search for love and the feeling of being not only wanted but needed. However we need to learn to stay in touch with reality in life as I said China is not a good place for an idealist.

    In terms of the USD$54k not being a lot. I stand by that. I will qualify though in context. In the UK, USA, or Australia at 62 you would be close to retirement age and most likely be expected to have accumulated enough long term savings to fund your life post work salary income days. You would need a lot more than $54k. Now before you get too wound up about the us talking about life savings, consider that most long term retirement savings in Australia for example are invested and in the period of the GFC most people in his age group watched at least USD$54k vanish as the market fell. Sure a lot had a heart attack, many have seen that money return in values coming back. BUT in perspective of a single man at that age it should not be the end of the world to loose that amount as the sharks in the financial markets will take it from you easily enough (not that I agree with this either).

    Anyway we are all talking from perspectives here and in my perspective $54k is not the end of the world

  • MerryBathCelestial

    Oh, man, here I am. Commenting. Again. Here goes nothing. I’m not good looking. Even my close friend before she left to Xi’an to meet up with her engineer husband who was part of that huge dam-project told me seriously, “…you are NOT handsome.You ugly.” (yes, dam; That huge mass of concrete and steel using the power of the river to generate electricity). Oh, a very bitter sweet documentary about that project; the relocation of the rural populous dependent on the river’s shores, a huge tourist cruise ship employing young,hopeful Chinese and bewildered about Americans’ tradition of “tipping” excellent service and hospitality, and the time lapsed filming of a home….( well, it will break your heart, but please find that documentary and endure ). Okay, it’s strange, but Chinese girls and even Taiwanese girls always like me. I look like the type of guy to borrow cash from, ask help with a term paper, or translate dirty American jokes because their American boyfriend said a joke and all the American friends laughed except her. At an Asian bar once, a Chinese acquaintance yells in this crowded place, “this my good friend Simon, talk to him. Simon, this my…this is Tiffany…I go to that room #1 down the hallway, dude, is my homeboy’s graduation!..yeah, Simon, his, his good guy…be quiet..his. his my friend….Wei! Wassup! get Simon a beer, yeah, same one, Tiffany…just tell what you like…tanks, Simon! Here, my tab, give my card,,,my card…yes, thank you. See..Tiffany…TIFANnyY! see…Steven, uh, Simon’s good man..I go! Tiffany’s friend comes up ,”Hi, Tiffany, hi…Simon is that you… Simon? You drink here? You’re not even Chinese (with an arrogant giggle). It’s a very dim bar , she looks to the bartender and I notice Chanel has no bra. Immediately, I respond to them HER…I “immediately respond to her”,”…you’re correct, Chanel,I’m non-Chinese, but this bar serves mostly US, Swedish,French,Mexican, and Japanese alcoholic beverages.Hmm? There’s pineapple juice, but DOLE has most of that made in the Philippines.” I motion to the bartender, glaring at me as if he’s Tiffany’s body guard or next-boyfriend-to-be. “I’ll pay her drink.”
    A year later, I’m good friends with both, but I do not get close to them. I respect them.There are wild one’s that are able to have several Chinese and non-Chinese lovers (yes, sexually active ones). They can hold their own and not even rumors hurt them. They are ambitious, tough, and a few I made friends with, but I never cross that line. Anyway, Tiffany and Chanel, they hang out with other Chinese girls. Those Chinese girls will meet or see you at other locations. It’s an active social network without computers. I don’t use Facebook. I don’t invite my friend to meet me through e-mail. I prefer a basic pre-paid cell phone. Chinese girls don’t care what I say. They just don’t. And I apply to that both genders. Educated or not Employed or a business owner. Whatever ethnicity.Chinese girls watch what you do. Doer or talker? The result is a pool of Chinese girl Pals. I don’t ask them out. I don’t get their number. I don’t want their e-mail. They know where I live, but I don’t let them in. I’m “doing” not “talking.” “Hello,wow, you carry two bags where’re you going?” “Oh, hi, Sandy, I’m going to take out money and buy lunch.” She knows it’s a decision I’ll commit to. I’m hungry and I’m heading to the College Student Center. I line up @ the ATM. There are 2 bank machines. I have 2 different banks. I switch to the shorter line. I get my cash, turn around and she’s gone. I don’t look for her. I am hungry and I have to be at a class in 2 hours. I go Pizza Hut express, but then I see her with a green tray and she got the Taco Bell value meal. She is fricken’ waiting for me. She’s so adorable. Yet deep inside, her family would never approve of us as boyfriend-girlfriend. That teeth clinching thought hits me as I pay my meal, receive change and receipt. Not high hopes is what I always remind myself. be a friend, build from there.
    “Simon!I go talk to my teacher. She’s with other professors though.” I encourage her saying, “Go. Just say hello and start asking questions, yes, go, go” I smile. She walks into the crazy hustle and bustle of students sitting, students standing, napkins flying, Athletes yelling, teachers blocking the doors conversing, looking so genius and always closing with,”…I’ll get back to you on that, I gotta run.” As I sit, a Chinese guy comes up and pulls a chair about six feet away. We start talking. He’s really loud. Out of nowhere, Sandy shows up at the big double door entrance and visually scanning the now near empty, huge student / teacher dining area. She notices I’m not alone and stops her approach. The guy keeps eating and checking his cell phone. I kindly excuse myself and he ignores me.”Sandy, one moment.” I dump my trash and go the MEN and sanitize my hands. She goes to the LADIES. Done. “I’ll walk you to your building.” We can hear birds hunkering down, chirping and the sky is a purple, pink, orange, blue sunset; it’s chilly now.Yes, I have a time cushion because the class I have to go to starts in an hour and 45 minutes. Then, appearing before us, a 3 story college department. Agriculture.Oh, I never ask her her major. Keep in mind, I don’t ask prying questions from Chinese girls. Respect them even if they don’t respect you. You da man. There are alot of other potential Chinese girls to build friendships with.Then she turns the corner and has this ‘I have a fish hook on this nice boy’ posture and a soft veil of confidence draped around her.Her sneaker steps squeak to a fade and I stand, gazing at the large frames of historic photos of how this Agricultural Building and Program grew through the decades. She comes back. She faces me. She offers me a jolly rogers candy. While I open the wrapper she, she suddenly…slaps my left forearm! “Mosquito!” She announces! She pulls away slowly, smiling, and looking into my eyes,CLICKING SOUNDS, CREAKING METAL ” Oh, no, they’re closing the lab door, I’m late!” Her sneakers squeak on tiles. I quickly feel bad as if I’m bad luck; early at the building, but still tardy at the door. Peering around the corner to see her, another mosquito bites me. With that distraction, I just see the sole of left sneaker and the lab is SECURED. Two late comers far down the hall slow their gallop and painfully do an about face; late. LATE! The CLASSS! I’m LATE! 1, 2, 3, 4 big buildings, SIMON RUN, run, run, Ru-unn, RuN, RUUUNNN!!! My feet are heavy……they stamp, not stomp….
    Stamp, stamp, stamp,stamp (“I’m”) 2 packs-back, focus, run, two back packs, run, check the zippers (“I’m here..”) while RUNNING! Packs secured. Breathe. I run by the ATM’s…almost there!!!! Almost…in between my loud, stamping pace, I hear a voice. I hear. “Simon, I’m here………. we sat in class and sat. Look, Ruby, she painted my nails.” Folks, remember, in college, when the instructor does not show-up for over 15 minutes? The class can dismiss itself. Well, there is a clock on the wall by the PIZZA HUT/ TACO BELL EXPRESS sign; It’s 33 minutes since that scheduled. I don’t have a watch, but she’s leaning along the Pizza Hut counter where one slides along in line up to the cashier. She’s holding a green plastic tray and walks up to hit my face. She’s crying so heavily, silent.Yes, silent, shivering, shuddering. I tear up so bad and hold my breath. The tray drops to my left and she wraps her arms around me as I catch her. This all happens in a matter of 8 – 9 seconds. She whispers to me in English an eerie exhale,”….we go back inside……” She pulls me through the double doors. The campus center is secured even the restrooms at the entrance. In the dark, my shoulders are relieved because Sophie is now carrying the other pack which is hers. There is no moonlight and we both watch the Chinese guy walk by with no other soul around. We can only hear the distant car alarms from the parking structures. She presses close to my chest and the candy wrapper crinkles.
    The individual was not a student. With all the Chinese girls I befriended, only a few were happy I have a Taiwanese girlfriend. I just couldn’t be late for Sophie again. One day, I politely introduced Sandy to Sophie. Sophie was happy, but Sandy just stared at me and never looked at Sophie, “..later, Simon, I don’t wanna be late for class.” My connection and love of Chinese and Taiwanese changed me so much. Blessings to all you guys who found your Chinese lady. Sophie and I parted ways 11 years ago. My first love. PEACE Everybody!

    • Is this real life?!?

      Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggghhhh…

      • MerryBathCelestial

        Hi, Crystal. While I typed away last night, my friend requested a schedule switch for work. Now, it’s the next day, but she didn’t text back the specific time that ‘I’ should report in. So, I rode to work and she was giving me this “you silly-boy, you should ‘ve jus’ called the front desk” knind-of-look. 3:45PM she told me. Wow! I have 2 hours! It’s a hot, sunny Sunday, families out at the beach, Navy personnel shopping around and all decked out in beach wear/ sunglasses, cruiser bike clubs showing off their V-Twin masterpieces…. Oooops, okay, is this story about my Chinese Girls Experience true? Yes and…..a little-bitsy ‘no.’
        Actually, the bar scene portion is true. Several girls and guys (Chinese) on so many occasions would rudely suggest I finish my beer and go home or just get out, “You’re not Chinese.” I frequented Chinese and Taiwanese establishments not to find a girlfriend! So the Cantonese guys would call me ‘gay.’ I would never defend myself until they would slowly discover me assisting at Hostess bars. Bar-back, dump trash, cool down a fight-to-be, go after rude customers who don’t pay, wait till last call and jump into a taxi with 3 crazy Thai hostess girls and go to another Hostess bar that’s Vietnamese that locks clients in till 7 AM! Seriously, I’m not involved in any Asian syndicate. I don’t even smoke weed nor eat Brownies, no weapons, no blades, avoid meth users/ sellers, this will hit Asians hard….check this out, ‘I do not know how to play a single card game’, I do not gamble ( I buy a lottery ticket once a week though, gosh 9 bucks x 4 = $36 per/month, I got a WINNER’S TICKET last week! $10, but I save it), but I learned to enjoy college football more than the NFL, because there are 120 College teams, that means more days/nights getting drunk with Asians who gamble, I buy my own drinks. I don’t leech; Chinese guys always watch what I do they don’t appreciate talk/talk. So, the Chinese discovered I associate with Koreans and other Asians. Chinese would hang out at Korean bars to get away from Chinese. Possibly debt issues, or they prefer to have a Korean girlfriend.
        Majhong? I read your take on that last night. Anyway, the Chines bar night life came 5 years after Sophie left me. My good friend was living in L.A. (Shanghai born).His Taiwanese wife were in town and called out for dinner and took me to a bar that would make me cry when i went home. All the fricken’ music videos had all those songs Sophie made me for on cassettes tapes and i never saw the MV’s till I sat and drank there. “HAh-LOw, yooo okayyy?” the Chinese bartender would ask as other bar guys would look down and stare me and gigle. I always helped my Shanghai buddy’s dad set up the annual booth in Chinatown and one crowded, busy fireworks night with his dad doing calligraphies for tourists and locals Sophie’s mom and dad saw me. It’s so difficult for them to erase me from their lives because all my friends are Chinese….I cry sometimes. So happy I got these Chinese friends who don’t wanna let me go, but so sad after 11 years that she had to ..let me go.
        Okay, now……well,….the college portion is set in the mid 1990′s. Sandi is a Cantonese girl I met at a bus stop. I always mind my own business in public places unless some one is being robbed or harrased. But the bus is late and from like 76 feet away she “…yooo study..Mandarin?” Oh God “no” please, I already have too much CHinese people,overload, go away! ,but I politely say yes, Then SHE SITS NEXT TO ME!On campus, local people stay with locals. I’m local sitting in a big fricken’ round caf-table with 9 Cantonese girls talking so loud! I always hide but even in the toilet, a Chinese guy’s voice yells from the urinals, “hey, Simon, lion dance practice, okay?” Ugh (how did he know I’m sitting on this throne) “hey, Simon, don’t leave your back-pack on these bathroom cabinets, see you upstairs!”
        Sandy and I lived a few blocks from each other . Our first date was a disaster! She was so sick. But she didn’t want to stay home. We wrote snail-mails, U.S. stamped and lived like just a five minute walk away! It was cute romantic.Then, out from the blue sky,I meet Sophie and this one dominated me. I was owned, chained, slapped, walked-on, choked, deprived, scorned, punched (True story)I got punched and it’s because at work at that time in my life, I was in management. And I was an asshole-boss. I love control in the workplace. Sophie was spanking therapist. I was in pain, but I think I really need more and more. I’m exaggerating, but she did hit me a few times and choked me. I never hit her. I just ignore her calls and go shopping at Armani and she gets upset. “MY freind saw you at Armani.”Yeah, look I got this and this…and then she behaved. IHey, I have feelings. Then she’ll nurse the part of my face she hit. She was possessive because I knew lots of Cantonese girls. The college campus story is true. The Chinese guy is equal to about 5 strangers on campus who stalk female students. You can Google University of Hawaii School system and it discloses various violent incidents. Reports such as these assist parents and future students about campus choices regarding personal safey. That last paragraph, I rushed it. Being Sophie’s boyfreind, She’s very, very , very , very pretty, I vowed not tobe late when we set a meeting place/ time on a big campus. My mispellings and errors are coming about ’cause i gotta go to work. Anyway, have a great day!! Ming-tian Jian! bye

      • MerryBathCelestial

        Ah-ya!
        Dui bu qi ah! Okay, here’s my plan. I’ll continue to keep abreast with LOVE LOVE China, but I’ll refrain from commenting till Chinese Valentine’s Day. Gosh, when I started typing, I couldn’t stop! I apologize. Thank you Crystal Tao and everybody! zai-jin!

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